Weekend Agenda: Bored Waiting for Newsies Edition

You know what opened on Broadway this week? NOTHING. This is what we’re talking about while we eagerly await rehearsal photos of Jeremy Jordan. Where he’s hopefully showing his arms. Just putting that out there! Ok, anyway…

• Round One: Michael Riedel reported that producer Scott Rudin deep-sixed a potential Broadway run of the critically acclaimed play Clybourne Park because its author, Bruce Norris, wouldn’t appear in one of Rudin’s upcoming TV projects. Holy shit! Round Two: Producer and general badass Jordan Roth responded and was like, Hold the phone, you guys! Apparently Jujamcyn will now produce and the show will come to Broadway in the spring. Deeply personal backstage dramz is the best kind, no?
• Her Majesty Betty Buckley melted down on Twitter in spectacularly forceful and erudite fashion after the judges on “American Idol” talked some ignorant shit about Broadway, and Broadway-style singing. Because God knows, nobody on “American Idol” ever wanted to be on gross little Broadway. Betty didn’t say it in so many words, but her point was clear: Call us when your record company ditches you, kids.
• It’s always weirdly thrilling when theater actors pop up in the gossip columns. (They’re just like regular famous people, y’all!) Well. Except when it’s Jon Groff and he only appears because… Lea Michele left him alone to hold her purse while she hit on some strangers. That’s just depressing.
• But what happens when the deconstructors get deconstructed? Oh, right. This: Former American Theater Wing head Howard Sherman wrote about the use of sex in theater marketing this week in his column. And he talked about… um… us? We only have one word for that: Boner.
• Megan Hilty was cast to star as Lorelei Lee in the Encores! production of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Duh.
• This, folks, is why the internet is awesome: Almost exactly a decade after Les Miserables surpassed A Chorus Line to become the second longest running show on Broadway, this video surfaced and made the rounds on the interwebs. It’s from the curtain call at the record breaking 6,138th performance, wherein the cast performs “One” from A Chorus Line. We dare you not to chuckle at the students of the barricade (and Colm Wilkinson!) performing Michael Bennett’s famous choreography.
• The spectacularly good looking duo of Aaron Lazar and Kate Baldwin took to Dallas morning TV to sing a song from Giant. Aaron and Kate always get props from us, but what is happening with this song? There’s a whole part about badgers and coyotes. If Curly McLain were a real person, even he would have been like, What the fuck?
• The Australian version of Love Never Dies will be screened in movie theaters across the country in all its craptacular glory on February 28 and March 7. Meanwhile, during a recent interview Ramin Karimloo noted — completely unprompted! — that he has first right of refusal on the lead role, should Love Never Dies come to Broadway. Obviously, we’ve been wildly speculating about what that means ever since.