the craptacular

How cute is Andrew Keenan-Bolger, you guys? We took some time recently to chat with him about being in a crazy Broadway hit (Newsies, natch), what it’s like to be a famous online auteur, and of course, his favorite stuffed animal as kid…

L: We were at that first preview of Newsies where there was a standing ovation in the middle of the show. Have you ever had an experience like that before?

AKB: Absolutely not. I’ve never been in an audience where I gave a standing ovation mid-show. I’ve never been on stage when that’s happened. So it’s not lost on me how momentous an occasion that was. And what blew my mind was that it happened almost every single night that week.

L: What was it like in that moment?

AKB: It was crazy. Like, all of us had tears in our eyes. We just kind of waited like… “They’re still going! Oh my God, they’re standing!” It was out of this world.

L: It seems like the whole success of this production is kind of a surprise.

AKB: I started working on this two years ago when they were having the first reading. And at the time [Disney] told us that they weren’t even planning a production. They were just going to license it and sell it to community theaters and high schools. If they knew something was going to happen on Broadway, they were keeping it really under wraps. We found out that we were going to Broadway the same day the rest of the world did.

L: Was there a single moment where you realized that the show was going to be really big?

AKB: Yes, at our first dress rehearsal at Paper Mill. It was an invited audience, so it’s always sort of hard to gauge because obviously they were there to support us. But it was a charged, electric theater. I came out after the show and people were literally completely wide-eyed, jaws-dropped, like ‘You are in a huge monster hit.’

L: The fan reaction to this show is really intense. What’s that been like?

AKB: Every time I come out of the stage door, there are so many people that I feel like I’m at a Justin Bieber concert. And it’s so cool, because we don’t have a star in our show. I saw crowds like that when Hugh Jackman was on Broadway or for big movie stars, but we’re like, a bunch of boys who are all in our twenties or younger. People wait to see every single ensemble person and take pictures. I think it’s so cool. And it’s really interesting seeing the generations of fans. There are people who are in their mid-thirties who grew up on Newsies, and then there’s also teenagers who discovered it later and were obsessed with it, and then you have those thirty-year-olds’ kids who have been indoctrinated on the world of Newsies. It’s wild to see a thirteen-year-old girl, an eight-year-old kid, and a thirty-five-year-old mom screaming with the same kind of voracity.

L: With all those boys around, there must be some serious backstage antics. Give us a story.

AKB: Every day there’s something hilarious. Tommy Bracco, who plays Spot Conlon was like, ‘I never get any fan mail.’ [L: Andrew Keenan-Bolger said this in his best Tommy Bracco voice, it must be noted.] And we were like, let’s write him a fake fan letter from someone. It started out really sweet like, ‘Spot’s my favorite character! You’re amazing!’ and then it went into creepy stalker stuff like, ‘I send you pictures of myself…’ It was awesome watching him, because he’s so gullible. He was such an easy target.

L: Is there a single stand-out joker in the cast?

AKB: No. Actually… Garrett Hawe has been sort of the ringleader as far as practical jokes go.

L: What was your audition process like?

AKB: I had done two of the readings, but I still had to come in and audition because Jeff Calhoun and Chris Gattelli hadn’t seen those readings. I even had to do a dance call, which was one of the most terrifying things. Because I am not a dancer, and the dancing in this show is very technical. But they saw my dance call and realized that I was good enough to dance as a crippled person, so I didn’t go to the big final call.

L: You grew up in Detroit. Did you like growing up there, or were you one of those kids who was like, get me out of here. I need to go live in New York.

AKB: I don’t think I was, actually. I was totally happy growing up in Michigan. Our parents were very involved in the arts scene there, so I felt like I had a lot of culture growing up. And both of my sisters also do theater, so I was always doing theater and shows. When I was eight years old, I did move to New York and got an agent there, and spent a lot of my childhood and teenage years working in New York as an actor, which was so incredible. I started it in a place where working a job didn’t mean the end of the world to me. Because it wasn’t really a financial thing. It was something I just wanted to do as a hobby. So approaching it in that way, and thinking of it as something I’m lucky to be doing, rather than something I need to pay my rent was a good introduction into the business. And I think it’s grounded me as an adult.

L: Working in NYC as a kid, what was your path through school?

AKB: I think working in the theater teaches you a great discipline and my parents made it very clear that school was most important. And if I wasn’t doing well in school, then I wouldn’t get to go on auditions. So I always did really well in school. And it was always instilled in me that school was of greater importance than theater. So I would leave [school] to go to auditions sometimes, or fly out to New York to go rehearse for something. But I feel like I had a normal childhood as far as school goes.

L: You and your sister Celia seem to have a really cool relationship. Is there any remote sense of rivalry or needing to keep up with each other?

AKB: I can honestly say that there’s no rivalry. I think it might be harder for siblings who are the same sex or the same age. But I could not be more proud of her. I think my proudest moment to date was that, the day that the Newsies cast was announced for Broadway was the same day that Peter and the Starcatcher was announced for Broadway. So on all the theater web sites, the first two things were like, a picture of me and a picture of Celia. I can’t explain how proud our family was that day.

L: What was your initial spark of inspiration that led you to create Submissions Only?

AKB: I was doing a show with my co-creator, Kate Wetherhead, in Dallas. We were both moving back to the city, and neither of us had a job. So I think in that in-between time you can either sit back and enjoy your time off. Or you can see it as an opportunity to create something that is truly your own. When we got back to the city, we did a table read with some of our friends. I don’t think either of us realized that it would be part of a web series. We just thought it would be fun for our friends in the community.

L: You’re on YouTube and you’ve been blogging forever and you tweet. Do you consider yourself a kind of early-adopter with this stuff?

AKB: Yeah. I feel like a lot of it has to do with the year that I was born. YouTube and Facebook came about when I was in college, so I feel like my group of friends were among the first people to get a handle on how to market yourself in that way, before the masses figured it out. So I think I had an early presence on YouTube, back when there weren’t a lot of people putting musical theater content up.

L: And you can put it up yourself.

AKB: Before, if you were in the theater and you wanted to get something produced, you would do a cabaret. And at most, a hundred people would see it. Now, if you put out something good online, it can go completely viral. It’s an incredible platform. And people can watch it as much as they watch television, which is pretty wild.

L: On the flip side of that, do you think there’s a negative side to that? Have you ever read anything about yourself online where you were like… Ugh.

AKB: Oh, completely. I don’t think there’s a person who escapes criticism online. Also, we live in a world where you can be anonymous online. So people would say things that they probably wouldn’t say in person. And of course, I’ve totally had my feelings hurt. And you just have to realize that no one escapes it. And you just have to keep creating the stuff that you know in your heart is important and meaningful. And there are going to be people that resent you for it, and people that it’s going to resonate with. At the end of the day, it’s about being able to go home and say, I created something myself. And I feel artistically fulfilled in that way.

L: Are you interested in directing as a full-time career?

AKB: I want to do it all, honestly. Big executives are starting to take big risks on people who are less famous, and people who have unique voices. I’m so excited for Lena Dunham, who just aired her first episodes of Girls on HBO. She’s about my age. She’s only ever done one movie before. She’s the writer and creator and star of it, so if I could base my career on anything, I’d sort of choose that paradigm of doing it from all angles. That’s definitely what inspires me the most as an artist. So I’ll hopefully be able to create from in front of, and behind the camera.

L: Who is your dream Submissions Only guest star? Of course, you guys have had some amazing people already…

AKB: Audra McDonald. It would love to work with her. I think she’s so incredible as a performer, but also as a human being.

L: OK, let’s do our lightning round. What’s your favorite kind of cookie?

AKB: Peanut butter.

L: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal growing up, and what was it?

AKB: I still have that stuffed animal. It was Oatmeal. He’s a bear.

L: Your favorite mid-to-late nineties pop song?

AKB: “No Scrubs” by TLC.

L: What are some words you use too often?

AKB: I use the word ‘like’ way too much.

L: What are words you don’t use enough?

AKB: Words that are not abbreviated.

L: What was the last book you read?

AKB: In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson

L: What was your biggest onstage mishap?

AKB: When I did Aladdin out of town, I went onstage and didn’t realize that I was not wearing a microphone. And I had the first line of the show. The sound people picked up on it really quickly, and the stage manager gave my mike to a girl who ran onstage with a silk scarf, and she like, did a dance and clipped it onto my hat, and ran off stage. So some quick thinking made it all right.

L: Most important question: Who would win a three-legged race, the Keenan-Bolgers or the Fosters?

AKB: The Fosters. Us Keenan-Bolgers, we have very tiny limbs.

Welcome. It’s Crappy/Spectacular, Volume 05. This week we’re beverage-less on the big red/orange couch in Lucky’s apartment chatting about the 2012 Tony Nominations for Best Actor in a Musical. Because… honestly, what else was there to talk about this weekend?

It happens every year: the Tony nominations come out, and like clockwork, the closing notices pop up. The first to go this year are Seminar (which closed on Sunday) and Magic/Bird (closing this Saturday, May 12). Both totally snubbed, they posted their notices within hours of the nominations announcement.

But if the snubbed shows often face closing notices, one would imagine that the nominated shows see major box-office increases, right? Well, let’s let the numbers do the talking. This week we examined the gross capacity percentages in all four major categories. The results, like the nominations themselves, have their fair share of surprises:

If you thought that getting a Tony nomination for Best Musical guaranteed you a safe spot on Broadway, then allow us to introduce you to Leap of Faith. A week after nabbing a nod for Best Musical, the show announced it’s closing. No surprise here – capacity was down, despite the fact that they spent the majority of last week giving away tickets to anyone who would take them. Looks like no amount of social media efforts (seriously – stop tweeting about that damn bus) or Tony nominations – not even the big one – could save Leap of Faith from its bad reviews and poor word-of-mouth.

Meanwhile, hooray to Once – the show that picked up the most Tony nominations this year, also saw the biggest gain in capacity this week. At 93%, it’s still not filling its house like Newsies, but it’s one of the highest weeks the show’s had since it began performance. And with its Best Musical win at the Lucille Lortel awards this weekend, Once might keep those numbers falling rising slowly.

Also of note, Nice Work if You Can Get It may have dropped in capacity, but it actually saw the biggest increase—$192,360—in grosses over any other show on Broadway. Does that mean that with 10 nominations, they’ve stopped discounting?

Clybourne Park saw a slight increase over last week. Probably not enough to attribute to the Tony nominations, but it’s still filling more of its house than the other nominated plays. Other Desert Cities surprisingly lost some of its audience, though the week before it had a 6.5% gain in capacity, so it’s basically a wash. Looks like it’s plateauing around the same percentage it performed at for most of March/April. Like Venus, this plateau is probably a symptom of being out so long. Then there’s Peter and the Starcatcher, which saw the second-biggest gain in capacity from the Tony nominations. Must be that starstuff! Or our praise of Christian Borle in our SMASH Reality Index.

Porgy’s been running the longest, so we’re going to guess that it’s 4.6% drop in capacity had more to do with the fact that plenty of people have seen it already. But even at its peak, Porgy only hit 96% capacity (w/e 1/29/12) – a far cry from the 97-99% capacity Evita’s houses have been having. Porgy’s going to have to do a lot more box office to catch up to Evita’s capacity. Either that or cast Ricky Martin.

No surprise here that Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman continues to dominate. It’s a tough ticket to get (seriously – does anyone have an extra? Dave still hasn’t seen it yet). But the big shocker here is Gore Vidal’s The Best Man? A 24.1% drop in capacity! That’s insane. And the highest drop in capacity of any show – nominated or not nominated – this week. What the hell happened? As far as we can tell, none of the play’s eight above-the-title stars were out last week, so it couldn’t be an understudy issue. Maybe it’s the fact that the show only grabbed two Tony nominations (for this and Lead Actor James Earl Jones)? But that shouldn’t make a difference, should it? Did everyone just forget about it? Election overload? What do you think?

You guys, we’re so excited we can’t even stand it, because we have the COOLEST contest this week.  The folks over at Ghost: The Musical have come up with an exclusive giveaway that’s different than anything we’ve done before and we’ve been vomiting from anticipation/excitement waiting to share it with you. Gird your loins.

No seriously. Because this giveaway involves a little one-on-one with one of Ghost’s dashing (smart, hilarious, charming, talented) men.

That’s right, we’re not only giving away a pair of tickets to see Ghost on Broadway, we’re also including a master class with the show’s star Bryce Pinkham. If you’ve seen Ghost you’ll remember his handsome, occasionally shirtless turn as Carl Bruner. If you haven’t, you may know Bryce for his genius performance as Henry Clay/Black Fox in Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. He can do comedy and drama, you guys; you want to learn from him!

Obviously you want to win this one. So here’s what you have to do:

Like The Craptacular on Facebook, and leave a comment on our Facebook post telling us why you want to win. Yes, the answer can be as simple as “I have a crush on Bryce Pinkham” but feel free to get creative.

We’ll randomly choose a winner from among the commenters next Sunday night. So get your ass over to Facebook and get to commenting.

We’re dying to see your answers.

(Update 5/14/2012)
Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Will Tess Rose Harkin please stand up? Give us a shout and we’ll help you claim your prize, lady!

Photo: Joan Marcus

Let’s talk about the Tony Awards, the Tony Awards, and also how about the Tony Awards… and a couple of other things…

• In case you were recently bonked on the head and are suffering from amnesia: The Tony nominations were announced on Tuesday morning by Kristin Chenoweth and Jim Parsons and the internet exploded with commentary. Because that’s what the internet is for. Check out our take on the good, the bad, and the shafted. Then, gird your loins for several weeks of rampant speculation from everyone and their grandmother’s cat, and preemptively stock the liquor cabinet to help you get through it all.
• You guys, on Monday, we’re launching the absolute coolest Ghost giveaway. We’re giddy with anticipation. And frankly, kind of upset that we’ve agreed to give this away instead of, say, keeping it for ourselves. That’s how much we love you, though. Wait until you see how much we love you!
• So here’s a thing: The Huffington Post created a list of 10 Theater Tweeters to Know Right Now, and we are so on it, and so honored to be on it. After we explained to our moms what Twitter is, they were really proud!
• Scarlett Johansson revealed she’s close to signing a deal to play Maggie in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof on Broadway. Jeremy Renner is in talks to star as Brick, a pairing so hot it would officially light that tin roof on fire. You know… if it was possible to light tin on fire.
• According to the very dashing Michael Park, the musical Tuck Everlasting is aiming for Broadway (finally!) next year, after a spring tryout in Boston. He’s been asked to play Pa Tuck, which freaks us out because it reminds us we’ve officially reached the age where it’s more appropriate to have a crush on the father figure, and not the beautiful teenage waif on stage. And that is… something.
• What’s better than Bobby Cannavale? Bobby Cannavale in a Clifford Odets play. We’ll just give you a minute to catch your breath…
• Illogical addiction of the week: The Bonnie & Clyde cast recording, which Lucky has been spinning nonstop since it came into her possession. Funny how dispelling with all the dialogue, kicking up all the arrangements like it’s a Keith Urban concert, and making Laura Osnes and Jeremy Jordan riff until their jaws hurt makes for a pretty delightful experience. Example: There’s a moment at the end of “Too Late to Turn Back Now” where Laura Osnes half-belts/half-shouts with so much simultaneous control and force that it gives us goosebumps. And you know, Jeremy Jordan’s not bad either…
• Game fully on for Rebecca, which picked an opening date and a theater this week. We’re already excited about this show — fire, you guys; FIRE! — but we’re hoping some rad casting will put this at the top of our fall must-see list…
• Joseph Gordon-Levitt is “amorphously” (?) involved in a film remake of Little Shop of Horrors. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark mess-fixer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa is also attached to the project.

OK, here are some things we enjoy in no particular order: handsome men, people who wear glasses, and theater.

So clearly, we had to show you our favorite photos of handsome theater actors wearing glasses!

Glasses, for the record, are great. They not only signal to the world that you occasionally like to read things — besides the side of the cereal box and the terms and conditions on your online porn subscription. They also insinuate that you have fully survived the youthful torture of wearing glasses, and can wear them as an adult without any obvious post-trauma. Maybe it even means that you own that shit, and that you can occasionally rock your nerdery with pride, and that you’re part of the National Contacts-Are-Such-a-Pain-in-the-Ass-Sometimes Society.

Of course, we’re happy to fully disclose our bias on this topic: We wear glasses. Take away The Craptacular’s eyewear and we can’t tell the difference between Sutton Foster and Raul Esparza from row D. So we’d like to personally thank these theater stars for helping small children everywhere understand that they too will look hot someday, despite the very limited selection on the FREE shelf at the doctor’s office… which is the one that your mom ALWAYS makes you choose from…

Jeremy Jordan

Cheyenne Jackson

Aaron Tveit

Tom Riley

Matthew Morrison

Jonathan Groff (with bonus Hunter Patrish)

Matt Cavenaugh

Gavin Creel

Nick Blaemire

John Gallagher, Jr.

Hadley Fraser

photos: Theater Mania (Jeremy, Matt C.), Broadway.com (Jonathan), Tumblr (Matt M., Aaron), After Elton (Cheyenne), Playbill (Johnny), tom-riley.com (Tom), Zimbio (Nick)

From the very minute we saw his beautiful curls and perfect, Disney Prince cleft chin, we were instantly smitten with Jesus Christ Superstar’s Tony-nominated Judas Iscariot, Josh Young. Just before the nominations last week, Josh took some time out between performances to chat with us. Topics covered include viral sinusitis, his bangin’ blue suit and talking like a teenage girl. Pay special attention to the moment Josh tries to convince us there was a time in his life when he wasn’t dashing and handsome. After our interview, we’re even less convinced this is remotely possible…

The Mick: First things first: We wanted to ask how you’re feeling…

Josh: I feel perfect, thank you. I was really sick for a while and it was really a terrible, terrible time. Especially given the timing, but I am totally healthy now.

M: You were sick so close to opening night. Was there ever any question about whether you would perform?

J: Oh yeah, I totally wasn’t sure if I could do opening night. It was by the grace of God that I was able to pull it off. I wasn’t healthy for the two weeks prior, and then also two weeks after. I just tried to make it to as many shows as I could. It’s my Broadway debut and I wanted it to be triumphant and it was clearly the opposite. But I’m back in now and everything is going great.

M: What was it like to be in that position?

J: I was at the mercy of my own body. I’ve never had this kind of thing happen to me. In other roles I can kind of pull a good performance, even if I’m really sick. But this was the sickest I’ve ever been in my life. I had a viral infection in my lungs and halfway through “Heaven on Their Minds” one night, I couldn’t breathe. I had to leave mid-act, between songs, and my understudy Jeremy [Kushnier] had to come on for me. Then the virus ended up spreading and I had bronchitis and bacterial sinusitis at the same time.  And then I made the mistake — well, not the mistake –but  I sang on top of the sickness and that’s why I had to go out for a full week of voice rest. But it was a very low point in my life when I was sitting in bed while I knew my show was going on without me. Every morning I would wake up and I would think “Oh, thank God that nightmare’s over.” And then I‘d realize, nope, this is my life. And it’s kind of weird to say that, because I’m still in a Broadway show and I’ve got the best role in the world, but that was just so hard.

M: I think you, Paul, and Chilina have the most badass entrance on Broadway right now – where Judas, Jesus, and Mary kind of ominously walk out to the famous music. What is that like every night?

J: I think it’s the chords that make it, you know? Those Jesus Christ Superstar chords. The interesting thing is, that’s a totally different entrance than we had in Stratford.  There, we had about 100 feet of space behind us, so we were actually walking in that space, and not on a treadmill, like we are now. We were backlit, and it was a really awesome image.  But Paul and Chilina would come in first, and then I would enter over some creepier music after the fanfare. Because of the dimensions of this theater, we changed it, but I guess it’s better than what we had before, because the audience is eating it up.

M: Can you take me back to the moment when someone first told you that you were going to wear a blue suit with a sequined shirt?

J: The suit is modeled on a suit that Des MacAnuff owns! It’s Tom Ford and I’d seen him in it before. So before a rehearsal he said, “Wait until you see what I got you for ‘Superstar.’” So when they showed me the costume designer’s sketch, I was like “Holy shit, that’s your suit!” Then, at the fitting, they showed me the sequined shirt. I thought I’d be wearing a cool button-down or something, but it really grew on me. And the shoes are awesome. The best part of the shoes, which you don’t get to see, is the lining is red leather with these little naked she-devils. I don’t know whose idea that was, but it’s pretty awesome.

M: You’ve spoken about being raised Jewish, so how did you first come to this story, and to the character of Judas?

J: I had no knowledge of the New Testament, and I didn’t know anything about this story. I’d never seen Jesus Christ Superstar before. I’d never seen a Passion play.  So I didn’t really know the story at all. All I knew was that Christians believed that Jesus was the Son of God. Then, when I found out I’d be auditioning for this, I did almost as much research as I ended up doing for the role itself, once I got it. I read the four canonical gospels, and the “lost” gospels —including the Gospel according to Judas and also the Gospel according to Mary. But I was totally ignorant of the story and now I feel like, perhaps New York’s foremost expert on the last days of Christ. It’s just an amazing story whether you’re a person of faith or not.

M: Do you think that your lack of prior knowledge was a strength for you?

J: I think it’s a huge strength, because I had no preconceived notions of who this man was. I also had no preconceived riffs! So I know it’s been done a million times, by a million different singers and actors, but I had no preconceived feeling of how I was going to approach the role. It was a blank canvas and I approached it as I would a new role that had been written for the first time.

M: Where did you grow up?

J: I grew up in Wallingford, PA, which is a suburb of Philadelphia. It’s a really nice suburb and I really miss it. I mean, I love being in New York City, but the pace of life can be a little fast for me.

M: What’s your family like? Do you have any siblings?

J: I have a younger brother and a younger sister and they’re both lawyers, so I’m the odd man out.  My father is a dentist and my mother owns a franchise of Lice Lifters, which does exactly what it says — they take lice out of people’s heads, but growing up she was a school nurse.

M: What kind of kid were you in high school?

J: For the beginning of high school I was very overweight, ugly, and awkward. And then, at the beginning of junior year, I lost a hundred pounds and by the end of that year was associating with this popular, cool crowd. Whereas before, I was completely not cool, and I only associated with the theater crowd. So it was really a crazy, crazy time in my life. Elementary school and middle school, I was just kind of an outcast. I really was that ugly kid. I’m not even joking. And then all of a sudden in high school things changed.

M: I hardly believe that you were the ugly kid, but…

J: I was, I promise!

M: Did you always want to go into theater when you grew up? Or did you have another career dream?

J: I wanted to be a marine biologist and then I wanted to be a veterinarian. And then, when I found out that people would pay to see me do this, I was like, “Well, why in the world would I do anything else?”

M: Did you do a lot of community theater where you grew up?

J: I did. I did a bunch of theater at a place called the Swarthmore Players Club, and a youth organization called the Young People’s Theater Workshop. During the summers I did a similar program called Upper Darby Summer Stage, which is pretty well known in Pennsylvania. Plus I did, you know, all my high school and middle school productions.

M: So, we usually only ask ladies for their beauty tips, but you have some pretty fantastic hair. Do you have any styling tips for curly hair?

J: Oh god, my hair is like, the bane of my existence! I can’t stand it. I begged the show to wig me and let me cut my hair shorter. I just like to wake up and go, you know?  Anyway, I just use some American Crew pomade and I scrunch it after I get out of the shower and what you see is what you get. But it takes a lot of scrunching. I guess I’ll just be dealing with this for as long as the show runs.

M: Right before Superstar opened, you got engaged. How did you pop the question?

J: We had a month off between La Jolla and New York and I stayed with my girlfriend, Alia, in Toronto, and I was thinking I was going to have some elaborate proposal set up. I was thinking we’d go on vacation and I’d do it then, but I had had the ring for months and I was just kind of waiting for the right time.

We were actually just lying on the couch, watching The Bachelor, or something, and she said something like “I love living with you.” And I thought, “Okay, this is perfect.”  I just happened to have the ring next to me, so I said “Do you want to live with me forever?” And I got the ring and it just kind of… happened. I didn’t even plan it. It just worked out like that.

M: And of course, you have to tell us the story behind the ring, and how you got it.

J: Whenever I was over at Alia’s place, I would use her computer. And one time — I wasn’t snooping or anything — I came across her favorite websites. One of them was a ring maker, so I knew what she liked. I brought a picture of that to a designer in Stratford, and I shared some of my own ideas, and we made it from scratch. And the diamond was my great grandmother’s. It was smuggled over after the Holocaust, so it’s a really special ring.

M: What’s your dream role?

J: I always say my dream role is Billy Bigelow in Carousel. However, if I had my druthers, and my next role could be whatever I wanted, I would really, really, really love for Disney to put Hunchback [of Notre Dame] on Broadway. I’d love to play Quasimodo.

M: What are some words that you use too often?

J: Words I use too often? Amazeballs. If you asked my fiancée, she could tell you in a second cause she makes fun of me for saying like, very teenage girl things.

M: What are some words you don’t use often enough?

J: “I’m on voice rest.” Actually, those are words I use too often, too!

M: What’s the last book that you read?

J:  Bossypants by Tina Fey. Oh! And she went to my camp, to Upper Darby Summer Stage!

M: What’s your favorite mid-to-late-90s pop song?

J: “Gone Till November” by Wycelf is still one of my favorite songs.

M: On a night out, what’s your beverage of choice?

J: A frozen margarita with salt.

M: Next up is the Lightening Round. It’s a series of either/or questions, and for each one, you have to answer Judas or Jesus. Who’s a better dancer?

J: Jesus.

M: Who would you rather go on vacation with?

J: Jesus.

M: Who has a better record collection?

J: Judas.

M: You’re in jail. Who is your one phone call?

J: Jesus.

M: Who has bigger feet?

J: They’re the same… no… Judas.

M: You’re on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, who is your lifeline?

J: Hmm… Judas.

M: Who wins at checkers?

J: Jesus.

M: Who’s better at baseball?

J: Judas.

M: Who has the higher SAT score?

J: Oh, that’s a tough one… I’m gonna say Judas.

Oh God, Raul Esparza
How do you solve a problem like Raul Esparza? He’s passionate and gorgeous and intelligent and so profoundly important to the fabric of modern musical theater. And then he goes and sucks and makes us all feel crazy! His Jonas Nightingale in Leap of Faith should have been one of the most badass performances of the year. Instead, it was a weirdly curt exercise in non-charisma. I mean, really. Raul Esparza being something other than totally charismatic? How is that even possible? His omission from the Lead Actor category wasn’t a total shock, but when you put the words RAUL ESPARZA above the title of anything — even Leap of Faith — there’s always a little discomfort when the nominations don’t automatically follow. We want Raul to win a Tony more than we want the faucets to run melted chocolate, but this wasn’t the year, and this wasn’t the show. Here’s hoping to better things for Raul in the future. Or at least better roles.

… Bueller?
Sure, Matthew Broderick was bad. But doesn’t the Tony nominating committee usually adore this particular brand of bad? The cheeky, not-really-acting, B-list star kind of bad? We’re not sad that he wasn’t included, but we’re a little surprised that the Tony nominating committee didn’t take the bait on him. Maybe there is hope for those guys and their sense of justice and reality after all. Or maybe they really just really, really wanted to squeeze another nod for Follies in there. Because it clearly didn’t have enough.

Bonnie and… Blanche?
Oh fuck everyone, how did this nomination not happen? Nominated for basically every other theater award of the season, the amazing Melissa van der Schyff, who was so winning as Blanche in Bonnie & Clyde, got no love from the Tonys. We hope that her performance was enough to put her on everyone’s radar for coming seasons — and we think it was — but it’s still disappointing to see her left off this list.

It’s Not Easy Being Green
Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark was an epic mess of messes, but Patrick Page’s performance as the Green Goblin was a rare pleasure amidst all that craziness. His hammy bad guy schtick was fun, and held more than a glimmer of something that Spider-Man badly, badly needed: some damn self-awareness. If the whole show could have managed to present itself with the same clever wink, it might have been nominated for a whole lot more awards.

The Other Dames in Follies
Follies wasn’t our favorite show of the year, but it was hard to argue with the strength of its wonderful supporting cast. Jayne Houdyshell’s nomination is well-deserved, but we kind of had to wonder: Where the hell were the magnificent Elaine Paige and Terri White? In the case of the latter, we’re especially annoyed. Terri has been snubbed twice now — for this, and for her fab performance in Finnian’s Rainbow. And Elaine? Elaine is a legend. Attention must be paid! We’re sure she thinks so, anyway.

Requiem for Che and Eva
Here’s the thing. If you’re going to follow in the footsteps of Mandy Patinkin and Patti LuPone on Broadway, you’d better bring it like you have never brought it before. The memory of those two performances looms large in New York City, and this season, we even had a little refresher course. In Patti & Mandy, the Evita sequence brought the house down. So if you’re Elena Roger and Ricky Martin, and you’re doing something other than bringing the house down, if you’re something less than witty and mightily sung and fiercely passionate, you’re not going to be nominated for Tony awards. And that’s just how that works.