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Weekend Agenda: Wait, It’s Not The Tonys Yet? Edition

It’s almost Saturday evening. We’ve already begun drinking. And we’re not sure why the Tonys just won’t get here already. But in the interest of at least trying to talk about something else, here are some theater news tidbits you might like to mull over before the weekend is out…

  • We’re so glad that everyone in New York theater busts their asses and prays and rearranges their entire lives — and whole productions — around the Tony Awards. Because they matter so much. In related news, seven days after it was nominated for Best Musical, Leap of Faith announced that it will close.
  • While we’re talking Tony-tastic developments, either Patrick Page has taken over the Spider-Man marketing team, or the producers have finally grown a long-overdue sense of humor, because this week they announced what is basically the BEST ticket promotion of all time. In honor of the show’s serious lack of Tony love—they got only two nominations—Spider-Man is offering free tickets to anyone named Tony for their show on Tony Sunday (6/10).
  • Zooey Deschanel will play Loretta Lynn on Broadway in a stage version of Coal Miner’s Daughter, according to Lynn herself, who announced it onstage at a concert this week. Isn’t Broadway so fortunate to have someone so famous, and so deeply, deeply special take some time out of her terribly busy, terribly important career on the silver screen to make a sweet little stage show? Aw. So cute.
  • Nick Jonas is a dear moppet, but not even he could keep the largely charmless revival of How to Succeed afloat. After weeks of sagging ticket sales, the show will close on May 20.
  • Speaking of Nick Jonas, and we always look for excuses to do so, the new How to Succeed EP is out, and it’s legitimately listenable. The younger Jonai sings smoothly and convincingly — much moreso, in fact, than on those detestable “rock” records that he’s alwys trying to make. We hope that Nick does more stuff on Broadway. He’s good. And we like looking at his cute, flawless-as-a-Proactiv-ad mug.
  • So the Charlie Chaplin musical—aptly named Chaplin, and described as “the big musical about the little tramp”—is coming to Broadway in September. We’re reporting on this because… Okay. You got us. We were just looking for an excuse to use the word “tramp” this week.
  • Looking for truly craptacular weekend entertainment? Too broke to see Jesus Christ Superstar again? PBS has got you covered. They’re airing Love Never Dies, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s masterpiece of craptacularity, beginning June 2nd. You’re going to want to look into this. Trust us. Also, get drunk. It’ll make things even better.
  • Cheyenne Jackson, handsomest human on planet earth and one ridiculously tasty enchilada, released his debut single “Drive” on iTunes this week. What are you waiting for, y’all? Go download it now!
  • If you’ve been keeping an eye on the Hollywood Bowl production of The Producers (which, let’s face it, you probably have), here’s an interesting tidbit for you. On Friday, Jesse Tyler Ferguson tweeted a famous line from the aforementioned musical and started off a bit of a speculation game while his boyfriend, the adorable Justin Mikita, did nothing to discourage it. LA-ers: we expect audios as reward if we’re right about this.
  • There’s got to be a point where Steve Kazee stops being perfect, right? Wrong. Kazoodles revealed that he’s one of us with this adorable snap of him with Anthony Rapp when he stagedoored Rent. See kids, you can be a handsome Tony-nominated Broadway star one day too!

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