The month of May just tore past and now, the big night is nearly here. You’ve got your shoes selected and your duds freshly pressed. You’ve even worked out your drinking strategy for the evening. There’s just one tiny hiccup of a problem. You haven’t lined up your date yet.
Have no fear. We’re here to help you narrow down the sea of options and find the best date for your unique Tonys style.
Just bust out your number 02’s, and get ready to tally your answers to our little quiz. Sure, you’ll have to do a tiny bit of math. But imagine the handsome man waiting for you at the other end of this equation. That makes things easier, now, doesn’t it?
What are you wearing?
- Super-formal, and gilded head-to-toe. ( 1 pt)
- Black. ( 2 pts)
- It will probably involve a crown but also be suitable for riding a unicycle. ( 3 pts)
- Something natty, with a deadly pair of shoes. ( 4 pts)
Do you really really need your date to win tonight?
- He’s already won, so, I guess I can withstand the crushing blow of defeat if I have to. ( 2 pts)
- A loss would be heartbreaking, even if it’s looking nearly certain. ( 4 pts)
- Eh, meza/meza. As long as he can accept a defeat with grace, I’m good. ( 3 pts)
- I’ve already squared with the likelihood of loss. ( 1 pt)
What’s your idea of a great after-party?
- Either some quiet time in a beautiful library or a three-ring spectacle is good with me. (3 pts)
- Booze. Intellectual conversation. More booze. (2 pts)
- Lots of champagne served in divine glasswear and waltzing. ( 1 pt)
- A huge warehouse party, with great friends and tons of laughter. (4 pts)
How do you plan to spend the morning before the awards?
- Reading. ( 2 pts)
- Being pampered like the royalty I truly am. ( 1 pt)
- Trying on every pair of shoes in your closet to ensure you’ve definitely selected the best for the ceremony. ( 4 pts)
- Practicing your juggling. ( 3 pts)
Pick your poison:
- Something fizzy in a fantastic color. ( 4 pts)
- Whiskey, neat. (2 pts)
- Mead. ( 3 pts)
- What’s in that punch bowl over there? ( 1 pt)
What’s your dream arrival?
- Horse-drawn carriage, naturally. ( 1 pt)
- Whatever will drop me off closest to the carpet. I don’t want to ruin my shoes. ( 4 pts)
- Rolling up on a pair of unicycles, hand in hand. ( 3 pts)
- Bentley? Mini-Cooper? Either will do. ( 2 pts)
Does your date honestly think it’s a honor just to be nominated?
- Yes! Why would he lie? ( 1 pt)
- I think so? He’s gotten pretty good at saying that, at least. ( 3 pts)
- Of course not. No one with a brain thinks that. ( 2 pts)
- Yes, because he’s the absolute best. ( 4 pts)
What are you planning to do the next day?
- Watch BBC Worldwide on my date’s enormous LED telly, drink black coffee. ( 2 pts)
- So much coffee, and then, it’s family time. ( 3 pts)
- Brunch with my nearest and dearest. There will be so much rehash and laugh about! ( 4 pts)
- Sleep in all cuddled up with my handsome date before sharing breakfast in bed. ( 1 pt)
What are you hoping to see in the Swag Bag?
- Decadent jewels. Is that too much? ( 1 pt)
- Shoes, obviously. And maybe some glittery makeup products. ( 4 pts)
- Intelligent reading material. Virgin Atlantic vouchers. ( 2 pts)
- Magic tricks and the key to a new library. ( 3 pts)
What’s your red carpet strategy?
- To have a rollicking good time. ( 4 pts)
- Following the lead of his strong palm. ( 1 pt)
- Strutting with class and poise, but goofing off the minute no one is looking. ( 3 pts)
- Witty banter–his accent!–and a flask. (2 pts)
Bazinga! You’re done. Now bust out that iPhone of yours and let a calculator do all the math for you. Once you have your magic number, follow the appropriate link below to meet your 2013 Tonys Dream Date.