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5 Hot Guys off Broadway: Shakespeare in the Park Edition

Fact: there are all different kinds of sexy. Another fact: this summer, for their repertory productions of Measure for Measure and All’s Well That Ends Well, the Public has gathered some fine examples of several different kinds of sexy and put them on stage together. Ahead of All’s Well opening on Saturday the 25th, we’ve gathered a sampling of five of Shakespeare in the Park’s hotties for you to peruse.

The “I Play Shakespeare’s Comedy So Well It’ll Get Your Panties in Knots” Sexy Guy.

Reg Rogers

If you ask me, Reg Rogers is the sexiest thing happening on stage in the Delacorte Theater right now. Honestly.  It’s almost uncomfortable.  There’s just something about his ability to handle two big roles in repertory, both demanding a deft hand with Shakespeare’s verbose comedy, that is both enviable and orgasmic in equal measure.  I can already tell Rogers is going to end up being the highlight of my summer.

The “I’m Handsome and Dashing and Knightly and I’ll Rescue You” Sexy Guy.

Lorenzo Pisoni

I doubt anyone could deny how good-looking Mr. Pisoni is. Plus, he’s real talented, and sweeping across the stage in a velvet cape as the Duke of Vienna in Measure for Measure, he is primed to bowl scads of theater-going women off their feet. But did you know he grew up in the circus? And that he can juggle and perform aerial tricks? I’m betting he’s real flexible, too, and you know where my over-sexed brain is going with that…

The “I May Play a Selfish Douchebag but You Want it Anyway” Sexy Guy.

Andre Holland

So Holland’s biggest part this summer comes in All’s Well That Ends Well, in which he plays immature shitbag Bertram.  But the truth is, none of that makes Andre Holland any less attractive. Don’t believe me? Go see All’s Well. Even when he’s making bratty faces behind Helena’s back, Holland is stupidly cute.  Here’s to hoping he’s as good a guy in real life as he is a douchenozzle on that stage.

The “Don’t You Wish Your Husband Was Hot Like Me” Sexy Guy.

Michael Hayden

Playing Angelo in Measure for Measure and the Second Brother Dumaine in All’s Well That Ends Well, Hayden sort of looks like the grown up version of a fairy tale prince.  The kind of guy you can only hope you end up married to someday. Swoon.  Good news, though, boys and girls… Even if you can’t marry Hayden, you can see him on stage several times a week this summer.  We suggest you do.

The “Fast Talking Leather Clad Rebel” Sexy Guy.

Carson Elrod

Elrod makes the list for his performance as Pompey in Measure for Measure alone because there is nothing sexier than an amazingly funny guy.  (There’s also nothing funnier than watching Elrod try and dodge a dildo as it’s swung in his face. Nothing.) But Elrod holds an extra special place in our hearts for his role in the 2005 comedy classic Wedding Crashers, in which he gets several unforgettable lines including: “Crabcakes and Football. That’s what Maryland does!” and “Booyeah! That’s what we call a Sack Lunch! Numnumnumnum.”

Photos: Nella Vera, Rogers/Pisoni/Holland/Elrod; Katherine Frey – Washington Post, Hayden.

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