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Tom Edden, You Win the Tony of My Heart


Everyone loves random bits of awards show trivia, right?

My vote for this year’s most glaring, probable-but-not-proven statistic is as follows: Tom Edden, of One Man, Two Guvnors has got to be the Tony nominee with the fewest lines in a play — undoubtedly this year, and maybe ever.

He may have some, but I hardly remember them, and with good reason. It’s because Edden’s performance is a physical tour de force. The words? They kind of don’t matter. Playing Alfie, an ancient, mostly decrepit waiter, he falls down a lot. And drops things. And tumbles down stairs. And gets hit in the face. Many times. Many, many times. The magnitude of the performance can be measured directly by the audience’s laughter: By the time Edden’s second scene arrives, they’re fairly fainting as soon as he walks on stage.

On the night I saw the show, late in the second act, Edden accidentally (possibly? — with this show, you never know) clipped Suzanne Toase, playing Dolly, right in the tit on his way downstage. It turned into its own elaborate, lascivious, three-minute symphony of winking, eye-rolling, and half-falling. The audience lost their minds. It was crazy genius — the feat of an actor who can think (move, react, invent something out of the air) at lightning speed.

For that, Tom wins the Tony of our hearts. It’s also worth mentioning that he wins the Tony of our hearts for being generally adorable and well-dressed — traits that are never, ever discounted or underestimated here at The Craptacular.

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