the craptacular

Stop it. Look at the curve of the small of his back.

Ghost: The Musical, which is slated to open on Broadway on April 23, hosted a little shindig at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre last week. Some highlights: A first glimpse at the show’s stars, including the lovely Caissie Levy, who returns to NYC after opening the show in London, and interviews with composer Dave Stewart and lyricist Glen Ballard. There were also some ghostly-green grownup beverages provided for the occasion, which we appreciated.

A cool thing? You’ll be able to watch the event on Facebook tomorrow. The only thing you won’t get are the beverages, sorry.

But! We also scored some goodies to give away, including a copy of the original cast recording, and a faux hard hat with the show logo on it. Clearly, your Halloween costume is now planned.

Here’s how to enter: Head on over to Twitter. Follow us, and Tweet this:

RT @thecraptacular has some Ghost-ly goods to give away from @GhostBroadway. RT & Follow to win. For more info, visit: http://bit.ly/zpraIO

We’ll randomly select one winner before the day is out. Good luck!

EDIT: Hey, y’all, the winner has been selected. Congrats @ryanliz, we’ll contact you about your prize shortly!

You guys, it’s SNOWING! Happy weekend, and happy gossip…

• On Thursday night, we attended Ghost Light Sessions, a preview of… wait for it… Ghost: the Musical. Of note: Dave Stewart (of Eurythmics fame) was there looking like Ringo Starr and wearing a seriously bedazzled guitar strap, and the man playing Sam is both handsome and British. We dig. Also, we snagged some goodies to give away, so keep your eyes peeled for the contest on Monday.
• Spider-Man‘s answer to Julie Taymor’s epic creative rights lawsuit? An equally epic counter-suit from the show’s producers that paints Taymor, of course, as a big controlling bitch who blatantly refused to make the show as “family-friendly” as they had kindly requested. Not that her version of the show was any good, but we’re feeling Julie on this one and hope she kicks their asses. Or at least gets nominated for a Tony Award, which would make for some totally awesome/awkward red carpet moments.
• Per Michael Reidel, Love Never Dies will take a stab at Broadway sometime soon, despite lukewarm critical reception overseas. Given Andrew Lloyd Webber’s determination to make his Phantom sequel happen, we’re not surprised. Baffling, on the other hand, is Michael Riedel’s utter lack of vitriol surrounding this over-the-top clunker. We’re frankly disappointed and expected better from him.
• Rachel Berry’s gay dads have been cast, after what was apparently a competitive and exhaustive search. Because everyone wants to work with Lea Michele, you guys! Anyway. Casting Brian Stokes Mitchell and Jeff Goldblum is probably the most interesting thing Glee has done all season, so we’ll tune in.
• His Royal Cuteness Andrew Rannells is slated to star in a yet-to-be-greenlighted Ryan Murphy comedy. And thank god, because Andrew hasn’t been in a hit in ages…
• News that made us sad this week? Chinglish will be ending its run at the Longacre Theatre on January 29th. News that kind of made us raise an eyebrow? Magic/Bird will take over the theater. Lombardi, another show about professional sports, closed after less than 300 performances in a much smaller house. We’re curious to see how this material fares.
• Peter and the Starcatcher will open on Broadway this season, and will hopefully take the exceptionally darling Adam Chanler-Berat with it. Sadly, the illogically hot Christian Borle has already stated that he will not be taking the Staten Island Ferry into the city every night after shooting Smash to reprise his role.
• Tony Kushner and Stephen Sondheim engaged in another round of wankery high-handed discussion this week. Highlights: Half an hour on opera — a topic so relevant to both of their careers — and more critic-bashing, because surely none of us have had enough of that topic.
• And last, but not least, something cool — The Mountaintop, the Katori Hall play about Martin Luther King Jr.’s last night on earth starring Samuel L Jackson and Angela Basset survived mixed reviews and managed to recoup its investment. An original drama recouping on Broadway is definitely worth a toast, so, cheers, you guys. Well done!

This past weekend I had the chance to sit in on rehearsals for the fabulous Rachelle Rak’s new solo show, I’m In, and afterward we had a quick chat. We dished about the show, her life in theater and, of course, that time she flashed Aaron Tveit.

The Mick: How are rehearsals going?

Rachelle: Good. I did a version of the show a year ago. Now we’ve put the show together with the story. I’m not gonna bore them to death. It’s quick, [snaps] it’s fast, [snaps]. Hopefully it’s funny. You never know, but…

M: It’s funny! I laughed.

R: Oh, good. A little chuckle is good.

M: What’s the show about?

R: For me, being “in” means being full out. It’s being absolutely full out. People have made fun of me my whole life. They’re like, ‘Sas, pull it back a little bit, you’re making us look bad. Reel it in.’ And I said, ‘But I only have one level.’ And that’s what it is.

I’m trying to make it an event, and something fun. And it’s inspiring people to do their own thing. To not wait. For me, it’s about not waiting to be picked anymore. You can pick yourself.

M: How did the show come about?

R: I’ve done Broadway Bares a lot, and I met a young man who came up to me after and said ‘I’m in love with you.’ And he said he would like to do my performance reel, or work with me. And I thought, ‘Okay, sure.’ And he followed through, and he made it happen. Daniel [Robinson], since I met him, has done everything that he said he would do.

So last year, I asked some of my friends to dance, and Stephen [Jamail] did the music. This time, I have a full, 5-piece band, so it’s all live. I did a reading of Flashdance this past week. We had a live band there, and I was like, ‘This is what my show’s going to feel like. Like, this is it.’

M: Is there a particular number in the show that you’re really excited about?

R: I call it “The Royal Flush” and it’s a tribute to the women in my life. There’s a particular section about my mother. And then it goes to Liza, then Ann Margaret, and then Ann Reinking and then I go to Tina Turner.

Somebody once told me, ‘You’re like Ann Margaret with a Tina Turner chaser.’ And I was like ‘That is the greatest compliment, ever.’

M: Tell us some theater stories. This is our favorite question: Can you remember any crazy onstage mishaps that you’ve ever had?

R: I’ll tell you a story. So, I was in a musical called The Look of Love and we were tech-ing a number called “What’s New Pussycat?” It was kind of Mien-Her-ish — chairs, Ann Reinking style. And Ann wants it full out. We’re tired. It’s late. It’s tech, but full out. We come up in an elevator lift and we put the chairs forward and start the dance, but the elevator lift brings the gentlemen back down. Well, I’m full-out and I step back and I fall 12 feet into the elevator lift. Something caught the back of my legs and turned me on my side, and I landed on my face and I was knocked out. Out cold. I woke up holding my face and I’m in a corset, with bleeding legs, scared to death, crying. I was kind of out of it, and I heard Ann Reinking on the God mic and I swear to God, this is what I heard: ‘I fell once!’ That was what I heard. She was talking about herself. And all I could think was ‘I’m alive. Because she is on the God mic talking about herself.’

M: What was your favorite role that you’ve gotten to play?

R: Oh, boy. I would say, my favorite role was Cheryl Ann in Catch Me If You Can. Small but mighty.

I had that one moment with, with Aaron [Tveit] where I got to do a little tease, and nobody else could see. And every night, I had a different set of pasties, or something new, or writing. That young man had a quite a show every night.

One night, I had the electric department make me pasties that light up, because it was the 4^th of July. So we’re ready, and I put my fur coat on, and I look in the mirror, and lights are showing right through the fur coat. Now, this is all a quick change. So, I go, ‘Get it off! Get it off! They’ll kill me if they see these two beamers coming out during the scene.’

So I rip that off and I have my panties on and I close my fur and I realize, I’m topless. And there’s no going back. That’s it. But by now, everyone now knows that I was planning the lights trick, so they’re all in the wings. So, I gave a nipple [mimes pulling back one side of the fur coat] and then another nipple [mimes pulling open the other side of the coat]. And all of the crew is there, and everyone’s in the wings, and we laughed. I mean, Aaron just said “I love my job.” That’s all he said. But that was an accident. I didn’t actually intend to get naked.

I’m In plays at Le Poisson Rouge on January 22^nd at 7pm and January 23^rd at 10:30pm.

Sometimes you do things for entirely shallow reasons. Like buying those leopard pumps because they look perfect with your outfit and not because you can walk in them. Or seeing a cabaret purely because Jeremy Jordan and Claybourne Elder will be there.

And sometimes—unlike with the shoes—your shallowness pays off. As it did on Monday night at If It Only Even Runs a Minute, a cabaret dedicated to “celebrating rare songs, behind-the-scenes tales, and inspiring photos from underappreciated musicals.”  In other words, this is for the flops and the oldies, and the people who love them. Or love to hate them? Or maybe both.

And it was amazing. Honestly. I am far from the obsessive cataloguer of theater history. I am a here-and-now, what’s-coming-next kind of girl. I don’t even like to buy cast albums for shows I haven’t seen. I was expecting to enjoy a few performances, maybe spot a new performer to keep on my radar. I was not expecting to laugh so much, or learn so much, or have such an all-out wonderful evening.

Producers Jennifer Ashley Tepper & Kevin Michael Murphy play double duty and host the evening, sharing facts and anecdotes about the shows, as well as photos and playbill cover art and newspaper scans they’ve compiled. Their pananche, their bright humor and ability to play off the audience, keeps the evening from becoming a dry history lesson. In fact, the result is an accessible, joyful celebration of musical theater as a whole, viewed through the lens of the shows that never quite caught hold.

Of course having the very handsome Jeremy Jordan and Claybourne Elder there didn’t hurt either. Those two fools even suggested they add a number from Bonnie & Clyde to the lineup—when they’d signed on to perform, Bonnie & Clyde was still alive and well—and their sense of humor about their own very recent, painful experience and badass performance was a real highlight. As was the moment during his Dracula performance when Tom Hewitt turned away from the crowd, then spun back around baring his fangs. And Alli Mauzey’s “Screw Loose” from Cry Baby, and Saum Eskandani’s “My Ship” from Lady in the Dark, and, and, and.

Really, the evening was basically wall-to-wall talented performers and great performances. I’ve already marked my calendar for their next show in March.

Meanwhile, since Claybourne and Jeremy were my inspiration for attending If It Only…, I thought it only appropriate to share video of their performance of “When I Drive” from Bonnie & Clyde. Don’t swoon too hard.

Video: Shoshana Feinstein

About halfway through the first act of Matilda the Musical, which is currently playing in London at the Cambridge Theatre, I had a sacrilegious thought: This show is way too good for Broadway.

It takes too many risks. It’s too bold, too of the moment, too authentic in the way that it interprets Roald Dahl’s sensibilities and intentions, too wonderfully mean-spirited. Because how could this show – which shows scene after scene of abusive behavior and dunderheaded characters and wryly sophisticated humor, which asks its (mostly young) audience to ingest plots and subplots and fantasy sequences – survive in a climate where we shower shows like Memphis with Tonys, where the soulless Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark is the ultimate in entertainment for children?

But maybe there’s hope. Discussions for a transfer of Matilda are apparently under way. And maybe Broadway’s fickle investors will (cynically, but sensibly) bank on Matilda’s brand recognition. Maybe its success in London will prove encouraging. Maybe The Book of Mormon will teach people something about how much American audiences can understand and handle, and that pandering is just never cool.

One can only hope. Because Matilda would make Broadway better simply by existing there. Based on Roald Dahl’s famous book about a precocious schoolgirl who happens to be a genius, the show takes you from Matilda’s rotten home life to her equally rotten school life, where she is treated badly by both her stupid parents and her evil teacher. Their position: Matilda’s love of reading and books makes her a freak.

With a book by Dennis Kelly and music by comedian/writer/performer Tim Minchin, the show spares the audience none of adults’ cruelty. On the flipside, the show also skewers parents who over-worship their children. In the opening scene, we see a frenetic birthday party attended by a bunch of thoroughly average kids, all of whom have parents who think they’re “special.” Between these two extremes, we are meant to see and evaluate our own lives – our treatment of others, our perceptions of what’s strange, and the values we place on strength and sensitivity.

All of this works so well because the laughs are plentiful, the show’s emotional center is in check, and because it all moves at a blissfully fast, energetic clip. Matthew Warchus’s tidy directing doesn’t allow the show to pause for over-explanation, and gives the cast plenty of room to mug their way through burp jokes, revenge shenanigans, and even to sing a sweet ballad about growing up. That contrast – the show’s ability to be both sweet and silly, both nasty and mushy – is what makes it so exciting. I think an American audience can manage that. Hopefully American producers will agree.

Image: BBC

So, you’ve seen the Joyful Noise reviews. They’re not great. We’re not here to argue.  We are here, however, to tell you why Joyful Noise is still totally worth a few hours of your time. You are welcome, writer/director Todd Graff. You are welcome, America.

Four Moments in Joyful Noise That Don’t Fully Suck and One that’s Truly Craptacular

1. That one moment in the church where Jeremy Jordan is such a good actor that you’re convinced that YOU are actually in love with Keke Palmer, because when he looks at her, suddenly you feel everything you can see in his eyes. It’s freaky. As an actor, Jordan is like an exposed nerve, channeling his emotions into you like an electrical current STRAIGHT TO YOUR SOUL.
2. That time Jeremy Jordan is sitting in the kitchen with no shirt on and he lunges across the table and smooches the hell out of Keke Palmer WITHOUT HIS SHIRT ON.
3. The Dolly/Jeremy duet. Or, the parts of it that don’t involve slow dancing with Kris Kristofferson’s ghost. Because these are the two best performers in the whole damn movie. And because Jeremy Jordan plays (pretends to play?) a guitar. And science shows that any time a man picks up a guitar he gets 900% hotter, and movies get at least 60 times better.
4. The hot minute when Jeremy sings “I Fell N Luv with a Stripper” that will make you swear to god it’s the best song you’ve ever heard.

And last but not least…

The One Moment That is Truly Craptacular is: When, at the Joyful Noise national finals, we have a full on Sister Act II moment and the team scratches their entire stodgy performance plan at the last second, in favor of something younger and hipper. Highlights include the moment Jeremy Jordan sings a Jesus-ified version of Usher’s “Yeah!” and Dolly Parton miming a slow-mo run, while singing a non-secular version of “Forever” by the world’s most Christ-like hip-hopper, Chris Brown.

Photo: Van Redin

Not even joking, Lucky wrote this at 3am in Dublin. No, not in Ohio. In Dublin, Ireland, y’all. It was in The Mick’s inbox when she woke up. This week’s edition may be slightly wackier than usual, partially due to trans-Atlantic flight related delirium. And, you know, partially due to the fact that Lucky left The Mick to do all the editing, and she thinks L is hilarious when she’s delirious.

ANYWAY. A recap of theater things that happened this week on this side of the pond.

• What the hell is going on with Darren Criss? We were super excited to see his performance in How to Succeed, until he started being crazy. Our sources tell us that he announced an impromptu performance at the stage door last week… with his theater troupe. His theater troupe that has nothing to do with the show that he’s in. The unrelated shenanigans reportedly created such pandemonium the police had to shut the stage door down, something they didn’t even have to do for his much more famous predecessor. Between that, his mile-long Playbill bio, and his opening-night awe at being able to make his Broadway debut so young (ahem, Nick Jonas was 7; Lea Michele was 8), we’re smelling a full-tilt ego trip over there at the Hirschfeld and it’s making us sad. Come back, Dan Radcliffe, and please bring all of your quiet class and work ethic with you…

• When Follies flies to Los Angeles later this month, it will be taking Victoria Clark—recently seen in Sister Act—with it. Cast this week as Insufferable Sally, she’ll hopefully be an improvement over hapless Bernadette Peters. And anything’s better than that nun costume, said everyone who’s ever been in The Sound of Music.

• Jeremy Jordan is officially Jack Kelly in Newsies, even though he’s been unofficially Jack Kelly for like a week, and speculatively Jack Kelly since the fall, and Jack Kelly in our hearts since before we were born. Now, onward to the next nail-biter: Will Jay A. Johnson be cast as his alternate? We’re already building a bunker to protect ourselves from the fangirl atom bomb that will instantly detonate if this happens.

• Meanwhile, just as On a Clear Day meets its untimely death, Leap of Faith throws its hat into the ring for the 2011-12 Broadway season.  On a Clear Day will close at the St. James on January 29^th, to be replaced by Leap of Faith, beginning performances on April 3^rd. So. What does this really mean to us? Raul Esparza has entered the Tony race for Leading Actor in a Musical, possibly creating a Jeremy Jordan/Raul Esparza Sophie’s Choice type situation for us this June. Fuck it all.

• In a story that feels so 1995, Into the Woods will be made into a movie. Rob Marshall will direct, so we’re expecting the entire thing to be dream-sequences-within-dream-sequences wherein the Witch imagines herself as a golden-age Broadway star. We hear that they’re already casting dancers for the “Children Will Listen” sequence.

• But to hell with the movies, because Into the Woods will be staged in Central Park this summer, which gave the entire internet the best fantasy casting game of the year: Laura Osnes as Cinderella? Steven Pasquale as one of several princes? Jonathan Groff as Jack? We’re not sure what we’re more excited about – the full cast list, or the show itself.

So Once is about to pack up its bags at the New York Theatre Workshop and hike approximately 41 blocks north to the Bernard B. Jacobs Theatre. I caught the show last weekend while it was still on East 4^th Street, which makes me a bit late for a review, probs.  But I have a few things to say, because really, when do I not have a few things to say?

Anyway. I’m just gonna throw ’em out there in a quick list.

5 things I really fucking loved about Once off-Broadway, in no particular order:

1. There’s jam band on stage. And a bar!
Look, we’ve been clear about the fact that we like booze. And booze and theater together can be a glorious thing. So you KNOW Lucky & I were stoked when the ushers invited us to visit the bar on stage before the show. But honestly, the coolest part of the fully functional pub on the stage? The band jamming away at some good old Irish tunes—the shit I grew up on, like “The Leaving of Liverpool”—and stomping and generally kicking up an awful good time. What a way to set the tone and really welcome the audience into the world of your show.

2. It’s chockablock with fresh faces.
When Once opens on Broadway almost half the company will be making their Broadway debuts.  Another handful will have the biggest Broadway credits of their careers to date, including leading actress Cristin Milioti (Girl). Even Steve Kazee—who’s been knocking about on Broadway for years—feels like a fresh, unexpected choice for Guy. And while it’s always fun to see exciting new performers, here it seems to bring a little something else to the table as well.  There’s a ragtag energy and excitement to Once that both echoes the film’s origins and brings a sense of newness to the whole theater experience.

3. Jesus Christ, Steve Kazee.
Ben Brantley thinks Kazee is too handsome for the role of Guy. And we have some minor quibbles with his accent.  But really, who are we to complain when we’ve been blessed with several hours alone with an ass that looks like that in blue jeans? I mean, honestly, Ben. Don’t judge a performance by its cover!

4. The ode to Dublin.
From the moment you set foot inside and hear the session taking place on stage, the connection to Ireland here is clear. But there’s a moment toward the end of the show, where the men stand and gaze out over the water toward the city of Dublin and talk about her, that made me weep. Ireland, and Dublin in particular—that city of poets and musicians forever giving voice to their broken hearts—is beautifully featured in the film, and I’m so glad they’ve retained the character of city I love so much as they transported Once to the stage.

5. Steven Hoggett wuz here.
I mean, I’ll be honest, I’m still mad that Hoggett didn’t win a Tony for his work on American Idiot. So clearly, I love the guy. But in a musical like this, where there isn’t a whole lot of room for dance in the performance, I was just really happy I could still sense his mark in all the movement, from the actors center stage, to the supporting characters and musicians in the wings.

Photo: Joan Marcus

A new year has begun, and we’re looking forward to all kinds of new things on the theater scene. Of course, when you’ve got your ear to the ground its easy to get excited, and subsequently dissapointed, about productions that never quite come to fruition. (Read: Yank!, Love Never Dies, Funny Girl.) Because, you know, most new shows never actually get produced. Just ask Patrick Healy.

Below, a brief round-up of new musicals we’d love to see on Broadway in 2012. Just to get your hopes up.

American Psycho
Based on Bret Easton Ellis’ 1991 novel, with a book by playwright/comic-book author Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and music and lyrics by Spring Awakening’s Duncan Sheik, this musical boasts a team of writers with some serious chops. And an anti-hero who actually chops people up.  I mean, okay. So we’re not entirely sure how they’re going to stage the naked chainsaw murder for Broadway. But we’re dying to find out. A recent reading was led by President Sexypants himself, Benjamin Walker, and featured Reeve Carney, Christopher Hanke & Kacie Sheik. We would have committed some crimes to witness that reading, and at this point, we’re just hoping we won’t have to kill anyone to get this show on Broadway before Ben Walker really does give up on us altogether.
Will it happen? 33%

All the Other Duncan Sheik Musicals
Never mind American Psycho. How many other musicals has Duncan Sheik written post-Spring Awakening? A bunch. Nightingale, Because of Wynn Dixie, Nero, Whisper House – they’ve almost all been given readings and workshops and little productions here and there. But none of them have yet made it to Broadway. Our question: Why? Is Broadway so money-scared that even Tony-winning Sheik seems like an outrageous risk in 2012? We hope that at least one of these shows gets a proper big-time staging this year. Amidst all the sparkly revivals and movie rehashes, his dark-ish, left-of-center sensibility is much needed uptown these days.
Will it happen?
Nightingale: 29%
Because of Wynn Dixie: 35%
Nero: 4%
Whisper House: 12%

Tuck Everlasting
It lives online, and in the fangirl/boy imagination, as the much-bootlegged concept album, which features Jonathan Groff and Phoebe Strole. But this new musical based on Natalie Babbit’s classic children’s book could be the real deal, now that Book of Mormon director Casey Nicholaw is attached to the project. Chris Miller and Nathan Tysen’s lovely score feels more sophisticated than many that are actually on Broadway at the moment. We’d love to see this happen – and soon.
Will it happen? 39%

The Madam C.J. Walker Musical
OK, so we’ve only heard two songs from it, but they kind of blew our minds. Penned by Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson‘s Justin Levine, this musical about the life of the African American hair products maven feels too good – or at least too tuneful – to stay under the radar for long. After a concert presentation at Naked Angels last year that featured Christina Sajous, we’re hoping this show gets a bigger production this year.
Will it happen? A hopeful 35%

Bonnie & Clyde: A Folktale
We’ve been hearing about Hunter Foster and Rick Crom’s Bonnie & Clyde: A Folk Fairytale for years now—from its developmental premiere an NYMF in 2008, to a 2010 reading starring Sutton Foster & Will Swenson. Foster & Crom’s version is a satire, more in the style of Urinetown than its “grittier”/more traditional cousin, the recent Wildhorn tuner. That snooze of a musical flopped in pretty epic fashion, which had us worried that investors would steer clear of the Bonnie & Clyde brand entirely.  But we’re happy to say there’s a production in Atlanta slated for this winter, so it looks like Wildhorn’s recent failure hasn’t totally killed this version dead.
Will it happen? 36.38%

It’s a Bird… It’s a Plane… It’s Superman
Move the fuck over Spider-Man. There’s another superhero musical around, and this one doesn’t trip anyone’s arachnophobia issues. Or involve a weird spider/human sex-dream that plays out in mid-air. A version of this 1966 musical, with a revamped book by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, played in Dallas a few summers back, and we’re hoping it might soar into town because frankly, we think Superman is more badass than all the other superheroes combined. And also because we dream of Dean Cain hitting the red carpet opening night. Because we’ve been in love with that particular piece of man-meat since the fifth grade.  Besides, who doesn’t love a musical with several sets of ellipses in the title, right?
Will it happen? 17.5%

Super Fly
Music by Curtis Mayfield. Directed and choreographed by Bill T. Jones. Produced by Mariah Carey’s ex-husband. Yes. Just, yes. When we first heard about this stage adaptation of the famous blaxsploitation film, we wondered how quickly we could mentally will it onstage. The answer is, “Soon,” apparently. A March workshop is now in the planning phases. We’re weary of film adaptations, but for the badassery that is Super Fly, we might make an exception.
Will it happen? 49%