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Twice in a row now, Jonathan Groff has played a troubled writer. Last year in Deathtrap, his character struggled to take credit for a screenplay that he’d written – at all costs. This time around, he’s playing a writer who doesn’t actually want credit for a brilliant play he’s written. Why? Because he’s white.

The play, as it turns out, tells the story of a black family, and Danny Larsen (Groff), doesn’t think the play will get the attention it deserves if its author is perceived to be something other than black. When the play is selected for a prestigious festival – under a deceiving name – Larsen hires a black actress to pretend to be him. And then we all learn important things about bigotry and human nature. Naturally.

I think, at some point, we’re also supposed to ponder whether bigotry, even when it’s aimed at different groups of people, is essentially all the same. Larsen is gay, and he and the actress, Emilie, trade barbs about the history of oppression from the moment the ruse begins.

The Submission, which opened last week at MCC Theatre, is the prizewinning creation of Jeff Talbott, the first-ever recipient of the Laurents-Hatcher Award – a playwriting prize named for the late Arthur Laurents and his partner. Watching the play, however, you will wonder if Talbott really wrote it. The play does a good job, at least, of planting doubt about authenticity and authorship in the audience’s mind. At other things, it’s not so successful.

For a show that’s searching so hard to say something important about authenticity, the show feels weirdly… inauthentic. It seems impossible that a serious playwright would ever take such a risk – or would take the charade as far as Larsen does without being discovered. As the situation deepens, the characters’ confrontations become more heated and outrageous. They eventually culminate into some ugly insult-hurling, leaving the audience to wonder: Who would ever say these things? Who would this ever happen to, besides the crazy people on this stage who apparently think this is some semblance of real life? The words they use – distinctly taboo ones, in case you’re wondering – seem chosen by the author simply because he thinks they’re “bad” words that need saying aloud, and not because they work in service of the story.

And what of the show’s insinuation that reverse-racism, or a plague of cultural misunderstanding – at the very least – is somehow keeping the world from seeing all kinds of great art? That just seems… like not-real life.

Tasked with playing a singularly awful character, Groff does a good job of capturing Larsen’s smarty-pants callowness. In general, the performances here are strong. Rutina Wesley, too, plays the actress Emilie as both convincingly indignant and vulnerable. Their bickering and shouting can be fun to watch. But the play happening around them doesn’t quite get where it’s aiming to go.

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This weekend The Phantom of the Opera celebrates its 25th Anniversary with a production at the Royal Albert Hall in London. We’re still in New York, but we think it’s high time to celebrate, anyway.  So we’re going to do that the very best way we know how—with a hot photo montage of the really hot men who are playing the Phantom and Raoul in the Anniversary production, obvs.

We’re just saying, you might want to find yourself a little privacy before scrolling down…

Hadley Fraser has some real pretty eyes.

Hadley Fraser is looking like Prince Eric.

Hadley Fraser is holding a guitar. Erection.

And then he put on some nerd glasses. Orgasm explosion.

BRB. Photoshopping my face over Stephanie's.

Ramin Karimloo is wearing the Phantom mask. Just the Phantom mask.

Ramin Karimloo is making the same face as we are right now.

Ramin Karimloo is blissfully shirtless.

You can't hear it right now, but Ramin Karimloo is singing "Sex on Fire." Lady parts=tingly.

Scruffy in a white t-shirt. Even clothed, Ramin Karimloo will get your panties in knots.

Fraser Photos, from the top: David Noles, Hugo Glendinning, HadleyFraser.com, Fancyne Carr, Walter McBride/Retna Ltd. 

Karimloo Photos: Cosmo Magazine, Miss Saigon Tour, Google Images, mysecretgarden21, @halfpintsinger

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Four Flea Market Highlights from 2011

This past Sunday was the 25th Annual BC/EFA Flea Market which began on 44th Street and spilled into Times Square’s pedestrian plaza. It also sucked up basically an entire day of my life. But it’s okay. Because The Groff was there. And the flea market one of those special days each year where you can be with your people and celebrate your love of theater in public, all while stocking up on things you never knew you needed. Like someone else’s old Playbills. Because you don’t have enough of your own already.

Jonathan Groff is the most famous person on Broadway. As if you didn’t know that already.
He had his own dedicated line at the photo-booth. And when Mr. Groff arrived and departed from said photo-booth—wearing a red plaid shirt and smiling like the sun—he was flanked by no less than four security personnel. And screaming girls chased after him (the boys who gave chase did a lot less screaming). And it was both awesome and sort of depressing. Like he was simultaneously more awesome, and less ours to love. Like the world has him now, and it will never be the same.

Daniel Radcliffe is the best ever. But really.
Okay. So he’s actually the most famous person on Broadway. But he’s not really of us, you know? It’s somehow different. Still. He’s the best. And I know that because Mary Faber chatted with me about how it’s impossible not to love him while my friend bought what was basically the COOLEST thing on offer at the whole flea market: a bottle of Maple Syrup autographed by Mr. Radcliffe himself. You see, Radcakes has been receiving bottles of the stuff in droves since he raved about it in the New York Times and in the name of the BCEFA cause, he donated all of them, signed in silver marker.  Radcliffe thus created an insanely unique, memorable Broadway tchotchke and really captured the spirit of what the flea market is all about.

Donny and Marie went home with the Mormons.
One table across from the Minskoff was hawking larger-than-life-sized cutouts of Donny and Marie, likely left over from their Holiday Special.  In a this-is-too-perfect-to-be-real turn of events, the cast of The Book of Mormon ponied up to purchase the pair, who will now take up residence backstage at the Eugene O’Neill.  Real life, y’all, the Mormons bought the Mormons and took them home.

I fell in love at the Spider-Man table.
And it wasn’t with Reeve Carney. Or Chris Tierney (who I apparently missed by mere minutes). Much like Mr. Radcliffe, the Spider-folks seemed to have a great handle on what would make really memorable, exciting theater-related collectibles—and it wasn’t just signed copies of the Shirtless Spider-Men issue of Time Out. There were all kinds of fun, one-of-a-kind accessories crafted from items that had once been used on stage at the Foxwoods Theater. I fell particularly hard for the bracelets woven from cords that had once been used to drop fly Spider-Man himself around the theater and were now in retirement. In fact, I fell so hard that I had to take one home myself—mine is adorned with a scrap of Spidey costume that I have convinced myself Chris Tierney once wore. I obviously adore it. You obviously wish you had one yourself.

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We always said it: Newsies would be done onstage when the people who love it – the people of our exact age demographic and taste – became the people in charge at America’s theater production companies. And alas, here we are, on the comfortable late-twenties/early thirties cusp. Our peeps are running the show. And after years of talk, we suddenly have a staged Newsies at Paper Mill Playhouse.

Newsies is so specifically of our time. Talk to people who are just a few years older or younger about Crutchy, Specs, and Spot Conlon and they will think you’re talking about the puppies in 101 Dalmations. Or maybe they will have seen the film on a Sunday on the Disney Channel, but they will not, for example, know all the words to “Santa Fe.” (Or all the dance steps…)

The film’s director, Kenny Ortega, said years ago that he wanted to do a live version himself. He never did, focusing his energies instead on the despicable High School Musical series. And perhaps that’s a good thing.

Because, to be clear, the Newsies film is not good. Made by Disney in 1992, just after Alan Menken had won four Academy Awards – two a piece – for The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast, it was both ambitious and weird, and a famous financial flop. Based on the historical events surrounding an 1899 news boy strike in New York City, it is a period piece that feels contemporary, and a dance musical that contains an awful lot of talking. In the end, it was hard to see who the movie was made for. Oh, and it’s about little kids.

The key to the film – the thing that has left it lodged so solidly in our imaginations over the years – is that some of those kids are deeply endearing. And of course, newsboy leader Jack Kelly has kept little girls awake nights for the better part of two decades, and for good reason. When it came to casting him – a singing, dancing, all-American newsboy – the film’s creators of course chose an English former child actor who could neither sing nor dance. Christian Bale’s performance in Newsies is not a feat of skill or talent but of sheer charisma and swagger. Watching him on screen, you see how he could pull off almost anything – a serial killer, a crackhead, Batman. Bale famously hates the film, and has had nothing good to say about it over the years. The film’s fans, however, solidly disagree.

They disagreed so loudly that they begged for it to be redone onstage. And so, nineteen years later, it was. Enter the Paper Mill Playhouse version, which opened last night in Millburn, New Jersey. And it’s really, really good.

It’s not fake-good in the way that the film is – that is to say, a total disaster, but charming mostly for its ernest performances and Menken’s wonderful songs. It’s actually good, and we have Harvey Fierstein to thank for that. He’s restructured the film significantly for the stage: Jack is now an artist. There’s a satisfying love story. The ending feels more complete and satisfying. Nearly every lyric in the show has been revised for sense and specificity.

The changes, in some places, are particularly bold. Gone is Brian Denton, the newspaper man in the film played by Bill Pullman. Now, he’s been replaced by Katherine, a chirpy young society reporter who takes up the Newsies’ cause. She is, of course, flirty with Jack – hence the new love story – but she also gets a surprising, and surprisingly credible, backstory of her own.

And then, of course, there are the songs. They have always been the single most appealing thing about Newsies, and they do not disappoint here. On the night we attended, the crowd broke into applause, mid-song, during the first chorus of “Carrying the Banner.” And “Santa Fe”, Jack’s yearning power ballad about escaping the big, dirty city, is a bona fide showstopper. Even Menken’s new songs for the piece – including a replacement of the decidedly lackluster “Lovey Dovey Baby” from the film – are smart and hardworking, and help move the story along.

The dancing, too, has been held over from the film, and to wonderful, high-flying effect. While choreographer Christopher Gatelli doesn’t really break any new ground, he doesn’t need to. The news boys’ athletic, big-spinning moves give the show a breathless energy.

Jeremy Jordan and Kara Lindsay as Jack and Katherine make a cute couple. They’re also both fully in command of their characters. Jordan in particular walks the tough/sensitive line nicely, and hits some beautiful notes along the way. Andrew Keenan-Bolger deserves a shout-out, too, for his heart-meltingly sweet portrayal of Crutchy – another character that feels more substantial thanks to Fierstein’s rewriting.

To be clear, Newsies is not August Wilson. It is still fundamentally entertainment for kids. But parents would do much better to bring their little girls and boys to this show than to callow, interminable Wicked, or mind-numbing Spider-Man. They certainly might enjoy the show themselves a lot more than either of those snoozers. There are even some astute lessons about power, protest and justice thrown in there. Kids may not fully grasp them, but parents won’t be mad about it. Especially because those parents were 12-years-old in 1992 – and have waited a long, long time to see Newsies, live on stage.


Photo: T Charles Erickson

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You must rewatch this. It’s classic.  Classic Jon and Lea, and frankly… classic craptacular.  Because really, what is more craptacular that a terrible performance of a totally terrible arrangement of a classic song, given on a float covered in massive, theater costumed M&Ms?  The answer is NOTHING! (Okay, besides the entire existence of Andrew Lloyd Webber, but I digress…)

So it’s a mess. But let’s take a moment—nearly four years later, as Jonathan gets ready to open yet another off Broadway play—to appreciate how glorious this was back in the day. In the first flush of our deep, abiding crush on Groffalicious, when he sported perfectly ironed curls and still sang here in New York. When seeing him on TV was still a huge deal. When we all got up earlier than strictly necessary on a holiday and threatened the lives of our family members if they weren’t absolutely, 100% silent-as-the-grave when this boy appeared on the screen.

It was a moment to remember, for sure. The kind of moment we sort of miss. And dream of seeing again someday. You know, when Jonathan finally finds a musical to star in again and our hearts explode with joy.

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Our favorite thing to do on a Monday night? See a searingly emotional, blazingly important new play by a famous young writer, about one of the most important political issues of our times. No big. So we did that. And then we went to the party. And here’s what happened.

What? A one-night-only staged reading of 8, a play by Dustin Lance Black; September 19, 2011

Where? The Eugene O’Neill Theatre, decked in its Book of Mormon-ish set; Gotham Hall, decked in its high-ceilinged, Grecian columned, ballroom-y awesomeness

With whom? Brian Williams, Fran Drescher, Barbara Walters, Chase Crawford, Gavin Creel, Rory O’Malley, Gideon Glick, John Lithgow, Morgan Freeman, Ellen Barkin, Christine Lahti, Kate Schindle, Stephen Spinella, Cheyenne Jackson, Matt Bomer, Bob Balaban, Dustin Lance Black, Jayne Houdyshell, Rob Reiner, Jay A. Johnson, everyone from Broadway Impact, Anthony Edwards, Larry Kramer, Bradley Whitford, Lieutenant Dan Choi, and like a gazillion other amazing people

Talking points:

  • Our favorite moment of the amazingly emotional curtain call? When real-life Prop 8 plaintiff Paul Katami came onstage and hugged the actor playing him – Cheyenne Jackson. He then turned to the crowd, pointed at Cheyenne very proudly, and mouthed, “That’s me!” We loved it. Also, we would have done the exact same thing.
  • Oh, and the after party. Did we mention that it was filled with like, basically the most beautiful people we’ve ever seen? That’s before you even consider Matt Bomer. Speaking of which.
  • Matt Bomer is probably the most beautiful person of all human times.  He’s so beautiful that God made sure his last name is only one letter off from Boner. We spent much of the performance watching every twitch of his beautiful eyebrows, but things only got hotter when he joined the after party in a pair of beautiful fucking glasses.  Boner held court in a far corner of the room that just so happened to be right near where we’d perched. Once he appeared, we were physically incapable of moving.
  • When you’re stuck in a Matt Bomer Tractor Beam™ you don’t move unless he does. Not even when you think you see Chase Crawford. Repeatedly. So unfortunately it took us like, 2 hours to even be certain he was there. No worries though, once we spotted the man, we didn’t let him out of our sight—he was looking almost as hot as Boner!
  • Best conversation starter of the night? Score one for Prop 8 plaintiff Sandy Stier’s son, who chatted us up, leading with “Ellen Barkin played my Mom.” We’re hoping he becomes a famous filmmaker someday so we can recount stories of this party ad-nauseum to our friends and family, and say we “knew him back when.”
  • Most of the night the DJ spun the smooth stylings of Frank Sinatra and Michael Bublé.  It seemed oddly appropriate (while simultaneously seeming like the dinner hour at a wedding?). And then, everything changed. Ne-Yo happened. And 30 Seconds to Mars or some shit? We don’t even know. It was bizarre.  And amazing. And along with our new friends we tried to start a dance floor.  It’s a shame that failed.
  • Fact: Jay A Johnson may be the sweetest man in theater.  The Mick accosted him as he was trying to leave because she absolutely HAD to tell him she loved Pool Boy and she thinks he’s going to be a huge STAH.  He was disgustingly darling as she gushed worshipful nonsense.  And when he left, he gave her a genuine kiss on the cheek, which made her inordinately happy.  (Aside—catching Jay and Gavin Creel sharing an embrace was like… tooth-achingly sweet.)
  • Gideon Glick was there in a skinny black tie. And what is life without Gideon Glick in a skinny black tie?
  • Gavin Creel held court with his Broadway Impact colleagues looking like his beautiful, awesome self in a beautiful, awesome velvet jacket. A general observation: We love how people get all flushed and nervous when they want to talk to Gavin like he’s the Broadway version of JC Chasez and it’s 2000 all over again.
  • Where was Cheyenne Jackson after 8? Not at the after party, from what we could see. Theory: Parts of the universe dangerously destabilize when Matt Bomer and Cheyenne Jackson are in a room together, so it can only happen once in a great while, when conditions are perfect and the earth can withstand the power of their blinding collective handsomeness. Cheyenne knew that he was taking a risk even by doing the play, and that the after party would surely rip open a hole in time, so he just went home and watched TV.
  • Photo: Hollywood Reporter

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    Having a rough day? Wishing you were back in bed? Just feeling nostalgic for the carefree good old days of the early 90s? Have we got news for you!  (Har har.)

    The cast of the new stage adaptation of Newsies—currently in previews at the Paper Mill Playhouse—was on The View this morning performing a Medley of “Seize The Day” and “Santa Fe” and we’ve got video.  Take a peek.  It will make your entire human existence a brighter place. We swear.

    Maybe it’s the choreography that is such an exuberant rush you can’t help but smile/squee.  Maybe it’s the energy of the young cast.  Maybe it’s just Jeremy Jordan and his very beautiful, square jaw, and his very beautiful, crooked mouth and his very beautiful, big-singing voice.

    We just know that this made our hearts soar. You know, like that big note Mr. Jordan hits at the end of “Santa Fe.”

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    With Glee’s new season starting tomorrow, we’re feeling our usual combination of low-watt enthusiasm mixed with pulsating dread. Because you all know the story: Glee can be so very, very good –- and so very bad. We applaud the show’s commitment to featuring Broadway actors. We only wish, sometimes, that they chose different ones. Here are a couple that we’d love to see strutting down the halls of McKinley High.

    John Gallagher, Jr.
    You know which clique is massively underrepresented on Glee? The Smart Kids. (Unsubstantiated theory: There are no smart kids on Glee because there are no smart kids writing Glee…) We vote that they hire Johnny Gallagher and make him play one, and not just because it would complete the Spring Awakening Trinity of Ultimate Power begun by Jonathan Groff and Lea Michele. John could play a bashful nerd who happens to occasionally rock like Bob Dylan. Or maybe he could just eat a pencil. No matter what he does, we would watch it. And if Ryan Murphy is concerned that Galls isn’t famous enough, we ask only that he waits six months. Nothing like an Aaron Sorkin drama to fix that.

    Annaleigh Ashford
    Oh, if only those dull-eyed cheerleaders had some charm. If there’s any actress who could out-Britney Britney, Annaleigh could. And she sings better, too. Currently doing the impossible –- getting actual laughs out of “Over the Moon” –- in Rent off-Broadway, Annaleigh is also prettier than Quinn and bitchier than Santana, too. Her presence might even cancel one of them out –- not necessarily a bad thing.

    Jeremy Jordan
    Finn has had so many damn rivals, and none of them ever wins. Not even Jonathan Groff, playing the most mesmerizing/stupid/genius character in the history of Glee, could touch that. But maybe, just maybe, Jeremy Jordan – currently starring at Jack Kelly in Newsies, and slated to star in Bonnie & Clyde later this season – could make some headway. He could play a leather-jacket wearing bad boy too, but not in a Jesse St. James what-the-fuck-is-going-on-here kind of way. Or maybe he could just turn up long enough to punch Finn in the face and leave. That could have its uses, too.

    Alysha Umphress
    Wouldn’t it be positively badass if Alysha Umpress, late of American Idiot, starred as a Rizzo-like mean girl who stuffed Rachel Berry into a locker? Or pushed her off a couch? I mean, just for the sake of completeness and continuity? Umphress, who will be taking the stage this fall in On a Clear Day, wouldn’t even need copious vocal alteration to sound good. That’s got to save someone some time and money – and save my poor digitally abused ears.

    Raul Esparza
    Enter Raul, Mr. Schue’s new nemesis. He could play a history teacher who actually knows more than his students -– a stunner for Mr. Schue, who has never seen or experienced such a thing. The kids, amazed at the new and astonishing concept that there are actual things to learn in high school, mutiny on Mr. Schue and let Raul lead New Directions. He makes them badass and awesome, and better than Vocal Adrenaline. Finn drops out. Rachel embarks on a passionate illicit affair. Somewhere, there is a time for a fully contextual Mr. Shue/Raul duet of “Lily’s Eyes.”

    Jeff Hiller
    You know what Glee clearly needs? An insane substitute teacher who kidnaps New Directions and makes them work in a secret underground lab where they develop nuclear weapons and sing rockin’ versions of “She Blinded Me With Science” while in exile. It must happen. It must. Save us, Jeff Hiller.

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    The New York Shakespeare Exchange—founded just two years ago—states that their mission is to offer “innovative theatrical programming that explores what happens when contemporary culture is infused with Shakespearean poetry and themes in unexpected ways.”  And their wonderful, insightfully rendered production of The Life and Death of King John, running until October 2nd at the Access Theater, achieves exactly that.

    Director/Adaptor Ross Williams has moved King John from the battlefields and halls of 13th century France and England into a brightly-decorated, technology-filled loft apartment.  This shift works remarkably well, creating a dialogue between Shakespeare’s language and the modern world which underscores the timelessness of political maneuvering and the human desire for power.  Indeed, Leigh Williams’ performance as Constance—a totally insufferable crazyperson—calls to mind Michelle Bachmann while Vince Gatton’s dramatic, unstable King John has some distinctly Boehner-esque notes.

    Speaking of the actors—basically every single performance in this production is rock solid.  Seriously.  You could pay a lot of money to sit through some big Broadway shows that have perhaps one redeeming performance (Wonderland, anyone?), and right now at the Access Theater it’ll run you a whopping $18 to see about 16 of them.  To call out but a few: JC Vasquez’s Arthur is believably young, sensitive and lost.  Chris Bresky has a serious way with the Bard’s verbose dialogue and his Bastard is both hilarious and powerful.  And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the really cute Zac Hoogendyk, who is giving a great performance as the Earl of Salisbury and who also happens to have some beautiful blue eyes and a tiny piece of my heart.

    The cast never leaves the stage/set/apartment, and Williams has almost entirely erased the transitions between scenes, which gives the production both an incisive clarity and a remarkable, fluid urgency.  This production of King John is not only educational but thoroughly enjoyable, feeling much shorter than its 2.5 hours and more modern than its Elizabethan publication date would suggest.

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    Weekend Agenda: Somewhere a Goat is Fainting Edition

    Friday again. The theater season is about to go insane. And somewhere on the Groff farm in Pennsylvania, someone is singing “Totally Fucked” in order to call the goats to their feeding, we shit you not. What are we going to do with ourselves this weekend?  Probably gossip about some of this stuff between shows…

    • Thanks to the lovely folks at Season of Savings we’ve got a handful of theater tickets to give out.  This week we ran a quick little twitter contest for a pair of tickets to see Sister Act, and @carlient was the lucky winner.  Keep your eyes peeled for a couple more contests in the next few weeks.
    • So Newsies went into previews this week at the Paper Mill Playhouse. We were there for final dress on Wednesday and we’re dying to tell you all about it. Gird your loins, universe; we’ve been waiting like 20 years for this musical. We’re going to cover the shit out of it.
    • Bobby Cannavale has been cast as Nicky Arnstein in Funny Girl, opposite Lauren Ambrose.  Inside our hearts we were campaigning pretty hard for Ramin Karimloo. But like… Bobby is kind of like the American version of Ramin, right? Only. We’re worried about the singing part. Okay, let’s be honest, we’re not worried enough to be mad about it.
    • Pick your jaw up off the floor, Porgy & Bess on Broadway is happening. Just like it was always happening, from the minute everyone said it would happen.
    • Producer Garth Drabinsky, who had his own little Broadway-themed corporate corruption scandal going for a while, is going to jail for absolutely sure, says a Canadian appeals court.
    • Two new musicals in development that are exciting us to our very folicles: Bill T. Jones is working on Super Fly: The Musical, which cannot possibly be anything but awesome. And playwright Lisa Kron is working with Jeanine Tesori on Fun Home, which will be adapted from Alison Bechdel’s graphic novel. To out-of-the-box musical ideas, huzzah! We just hope they get produced before 2019.
    • Mikhail Baryshnikov is bringing his play In Paris to New York someday, according to the New York Times. Even just reading the announcement got us all hot and bothered. We can’t wait to watch his mouth move while he speaks Russian on stage. Don’t know why we’re so excited? Clearly you didn’t see him in the last season of Sex and the City.
    • Where in the world in Laura Benanti this week? On the cover of Playboy, natch.
    • Michael Riedel is reporting that Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and Billy Elliot are getting some rewrites to make them more “tourist-friendly.” Because clearly neither of those shows were developed to pander to tourist crowds to begin with. We’re so thrilled that theater is becoming more… uh… accessible.
    • In other news, Susan Blackwell had her own hayloft scene with Mr. Jonathan Groff and we are so jealous we can’t even stand it. In this week’s fucking amazing episode of Side by Side there were sixty-five million kink jokes, fainting goats actually fainting, and a rumored lack of underwear on Mr. Groff’s person.  Basically, it’s the best thing that has ever happened. And we’re so jealous it wasn’t us.
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