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Showbituary: RIP Spider-Man 1.0

You were the apple of Julie Taymor’s eye.  And contained at least two characters who were essentially analogous to her crazy self.  You were also an occasionally awesome looking hot mess of nonsensical insanity.

And last night, the folks at the Foxwoods Theater laid you to rest.  Lucky and I couldn’t be happier we had the chance to witness your particular brand of cray-cray.  Because however truly dismal you were, however many times our jaws fell open or our faces met our palms, you were really, really going for it.  We respect that, even as we ridicule it mercilessly.  And what’s more… you were kind of the most noteworthy thing to ever happen on Broadway.  What with your obscene budget and backstage dramz and inability to make your way out of previews.

We will talk of you for the ages, I’m sure.  Be proud to say we saw you not once, but twice each.

Perhaps we will not mourn your loss for long.  Perhaps the show will get even worse, and we’ll mourn your loss forever.  We know, at the very least, that Julie probs will.  Meanwhile, as she cries into her piles of severance cash, we’ll be praying that you return at least long enough for us to see Christopher Tierney sport the Spidey suit again.  We like his bod.

Photo: Jacob Cohl

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