Well, folks, the Group A & B quarter finals have drawn to a close. An INSANE close, if you ask me, but a close nonetheless.
What was insane? Well. The Jeremy Jordan/Gavin Creel match, for starters. Jordan came out of Group A with a spotless record and the most votes of anyone in the competition. In the group stages Gavin had only 25% of the voting power behind him that Jeremy, so when Gavin pulled ahead about an hour into the competition, we were mildly surprised. Then, he landed about 1,000 votes in 45 minutes and from that moment on never let go of his stranglehold on the lead and we were flabbergasted.
Fans on Tumblr led the charge for Gavin, their support so enthusiastic that at one point we spied someone blogging in a panic that Gavin’s lead had dwindled to only 82% (only!) and imploring fellow fans to keep voting.
Despite frenzied attempts by his fans in the early evening, Jeremy just couldn’t recover. Apparently homeboy can win every role on earth and open two major musicals in a single season, but he cannot win the Hottielympics. You go, Gavin fans! That was an impressive feat.
By comparison, our other battles were pretty tame.
Lily Rabe fans came out of the woodwork in support and she beat Laura Osnes by nearly 1100 votes. (Who knew Lily Rabe had such a devoted fan base? Can you all please be our friends now?)
And we don’t call Audra ‘Hall of Fame’ for nothing, clearly, because she handily defeated Lindsay Mendez.
Meanwhile, Show Killer Chase might need to be renamed Competition Killer Chase, because he continues to trounce his opponents. The guy from Smash squashed The Stache.
So our Group A & B Semi Final matches are set and all of our winners—men and women alike—have emerged from Group B. Gavin Creel will face Will Chase and Lily Rabe will face Audra McDonald.
Next up, Group B & C Quarter Final battles. We’re praying for another wild ride.
So when The Mick comes back, she’ll elegantly frame all of this for you like she’s the girl version of Pete Hamill, but for now you’re stuck with me. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Laura Osnes and Audra McDonald are doing extremely well in this competition, but you probably shouldn’t fully trust my judgement on that. Although I do love them.
Also, one of them could go home tomorrow if you don’t keep helping them do extremely well. The winners take it all, at this point. Or something.
So, when I posted my recap last night, I didn’t realize that people were actually being ELIMINATED in that round. See, this is what I was telling you about not fully grasping the structure of most sporting competitions. I guess if The Mick were here, she would write something about how the competition is fierce, and highlight all the riveting battles, but I’m just sitting here all sad like, WHY DON’T YOU LIKE BOBBY CANNAVALE? Anyway, this is the quarterfinal round for the men. That means there’s four groups left. That also means that whoever loses in this round goes home. Groups A & B are up first, so, this is it. Vote your faces off, you guys!
It’s the Mick here, popping back in with a quick update before returning you to Lucky’s capable hands.
I’m here because while I was participating in a sport of my own–competitive drinking–last night at my cousin’s wedding, I failed to remember to have Lucky post these brackets for you. Running a website while drinking your face off only works up to a point, apparently.
Below are the Quarter Final brackets, so you can preview the matches in this round. You should take a look. Why, you ask?
Well, because we’ve left the round-robin Group Stages where everything is all marginally friendly and whether you win or lose, you get to play another game the next day. We’re in the elimination stages now, and your hotties need your votes more than ever, because a single loss spells the end of the road. That’s right. Losing = Packing your hottie bags and going home empty handed.
So plan your voting strategy. Call you friends, your mom, your therapist.
Group A and B Quarter Final matches for the men and women go up in an hour or so. This. Shit. Is. About. To. Get. Real.
Lucky here. The Mick is indisposed at the moment, which means it’s my job to update the Hottielympics tonight. And I just want to take a moment to tell you something: Like most musical theater nerds, I know fuck all about sports. And things like this that sort of mimic sports, and sportsmanlike sportiness.
Like, I know so little about what’s happening in the Hottielympics — besides the voting for hot people part, which is pretty straightforward — that I’m more or less 90% sure I’m going to a) tell you some wrong things b) improperly use the word “brackets,” which to me are those things they glued to your teeth to hold on your braces when you were nine, and c) disgrace myself before people who actually know and care about sports.
So now that expectations are fully managed, I’m going to try to recap what’s going on in this little contest of ultimate Broadway hotness. The operative word here being try.
Here’s an overview of Hottielympics reality as I understand it:
Jeremy Jordan v. Stark Sands, you guys. There were literally more than 2,500 votes on that match. You know what that means? It means that you bitches have a LOT of time on your hands, and that you care about the relative hotness of Jeremy Jordan and Stark Sands so much that you voted 2,500 times. Like, when I say things like, “Yeah, you guys. There were like, two thousand votes,” I’m usually joking. I’m usually just trying to say that there were a lot. But this was a literal plethora of votes. I would say it was too many to count, but it clearly wasn’t. So once you guys vote so many times that there are too many votes to count, then I’ll be super impressed. For now I’m just mildly surprised.
The Will Chase fangirls came out in FORCE. How much force? They helped Will kick Gavin Creel’s ass. Who can even say that they kicked Gavin Creel’s ass besides those Billy Elliot children whose names I can’t be troubled to remember, or even Google? But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. If you’re a Will Chase fangirl, you’re a fighter by nature.
Laura Osnes won, because you guys all clearly want to be her. Or you just want to kiss Jeremy Jordan. Same difference.
Audra McDonald is beating everyone, just like in real life.
Aaron Tveit is winning. We’re sure this would make him really happy if he knew, and our goal is always to keep Aaron Tveit happy.
Well folks, it’s after 11:30pm on the last night of group competition. In some groups it’s looking like the results are totally a foregone conclusion, but in others it’s anybody’s game.
Below, a quick recap of the action, which should inspire you to go vote for your faves. Because you have until morning to push their (beautiful) asses to victory and they need you!
The Men
Group A—which it seemed Jeremy Jordan had totally sewn up early today—is now anybody’s game. Jeremy Jordan’s undefeated record is at stake—he’s trailing Stark Sands by just over 10 votes—and Christian Borle is ahead of Josh Segarra by some 40 votes. If both Christian and Stark win they’ll be tied with Jeremy for first place and it’ll come down to goal differential, which could get hairy.
Group B is looking all but settled, no matter what happens Gavin Creel and Will Chase make it through. The only question here is will Andy Mientus pull out a moral victory and defeat Bobby Cannavale, or will the newcomer go home winless?
In Group C, Steve Kazee is also looking untouchable while and Jay Johnson is all but headed home after a rough run in this Group of Death. It’s still anyone’s game for Raul Esparza and Colin Donnell, though. They’re neck in neck in the voting, and whoever wins guarantees themselves a spot in the next round.
Shock of all shocks, Tveit looks untouchable in Group D’s competition—he’s about to go undefeated in. We bet his ass looks real good right now, too. You know, wherever he is.
The Women
In Group A things are pretty settled. Laura Osnes looks like she’s about to clinch first place, but regardless, Lindsay Mendez will make it out of the round. Still, whoever clinches the top spot gets the most favorable match-up in the next round.
Group B’s Audra McDonald is all but unbeatable, but it’s a toss-up between Sierra Boggess and Lily Rabe for that second slot. Lily is ahead right now, but not by much, so it’s still anyone’s game.
Meanwhile, in Group C, Annaleigh Ashford needs some serious help if she’s going to defeat Celia Keenan Bolger and have even a prayer of escaping this round. She’s got to win by a lot a lot a lot, and right now she’s losing by almost 50.
And last but not least, in Group D, Cristin Milioti and Stephanie J Block are both in must-win situations right now. Unfortuantely for Cristin, she’s trailing Kelli O’Hara, who is thus far undefeated… she’s going to need some luck (and some major support from you) if she wants to make it out alive.
The third and final day of the group stage dawned grey and funky here in Manhattan, which kind of sucks. You know what doesn’t suck? Winning. And if any of these lovely ladies are going to make it out of the hectic group round of competition and into the quarter finals, they’re going to need your help winning. This is not the time for powder puffs. The game is ON.
Well, this is it. The end of round robin. No one is guaranteed a match after this. And damn do your votes count today, they could determine who suvrives the cutthroat first round and who gets sent home. 8 of these fine specimens of manliness will be sent packing tomorrow. It’s about time you started voting.
It’s day two. Victory today could help clinch the top spot. A loss could make tomorrow’s matches absolute must-win situations, or could knock a competitor out of the running entirely. Even though this isn’t the final match of the group stage, its an important one, where everything is on the line. Your hotties need you, so vote away, dear readers, and bring your friends along to vote, too.
The Women’s Group Stage, Day Two Matches…
Who's your hottie, Lindsay or Jessie?
Lindsay “Pipes” Mendez (73%, 69 Votes)
Jessie “The Velvet Shadow” Mueller (27%, 26 Votes)
Total Voters: 95
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Who's your hottie, Caisse or Laura?
Laura Ann “Small Town” Osnes (52%, 101 Votes)
Caissie “The Canuck” Levy (48%, 94 Votes)
Total Voters: 195
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Who's your hottie, Betsy or Lily?
Lily “The Bard Babe” Rabe (58%, 69 Votes)
Betsy “Princess” Wolfe (42%, 49 Votes)
Total Voters: 118
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Who's your hottie, Sierra or Audra?
Audra Ann “Hall of Fame” McDonald (75%, 80 Votes)
Sierra “Madre” Boggess (25%, 26 Votes)
Total Voters: 106
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Who's your hottie, Sutton or Celia?
Celia “Short Stuff” Keenan-Bolger (50%, 81 Votes)
Sutton “Time-Step” Foster (50%, 80 Votes)
Total Voters: 161
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Who's your hottie, Annaleigh or Patti?
Annaleigh “Rob” Ashford (51%, 60 Votes)
Patti “And the Holograms” Murin (49%, 57 Votes)
Total Voters: 117
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Who's your hottie, Condola or Cristin?
Cristin “Hipstamatic” Milioti (72%, 68 Votes)
Condola “Close to the Tree” Rashad (28%, 26 Votes)
Hottielympics is an epic race for Broadway Hottie Gold. (And silver. And bronze.) We're pitting the hottest theater hotties of this very minute against each other in a battle for complete domination. Gird your loins.
Also, we (Lucky & The Mick) simply must take time to thank our dear friends Lovely Linda and Nine Daves, without whom this competition would just not be possible. Check out their handywork on the player cards especially!
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